marriage

Marriage is such a great institution. It gives security and it gives growth. God should be right in the middle of this union. I have seen some marriages where one spouse is devoted to God and the other is lukewarm. I have not seen many marriages where both people let God be in the middle of their relationship. Now I have not been in the middle of many relationships. Perhaps, none, but I would love to have a model relationship to look at, to learn from. I don't. I am ready to learn from a couple younger. Then, again, God is working on my marriage. Maybe my wife and I could be an example to others. But we are not there. God is still not in the middle of our marriage.
It is amazing how much stuff a person has to get through to really be in touch with himself. I am sure that some people can get there quickly and are ready and open vessels for God, but most of us struggle through pride and prejudices to get to a point where we are ready to do God's Will. Let alone let God be in the middle of a marriage.

control

How much should we hide? How much should try to control others' questions? How secretive should we be? I believe that I can be discrete, but , perhaps, I am too open at times and too closed at other times. We are not perfect vessels. We are human. What is most important? The salvation of souls for all Eternity. It is an honor to be Catholic. May I hold that honor with discretion and love. I guess that I have to die more to myself. I have to let go. God will carry me. I am weak and frail. I am nothing without God.

poetry

This is a time of year when I learn about tennis by the play and commentary from the US Open in Flushing Meadows. It is enjoyable watching people compete. It is often sad to see overly involved parents over reacting to their children's performances in a game, but often the kids rise up and show great maturity, both on and off the court, for those who don't they miss the great opportunities that tennis offer a person to grow up. I know about this. I have laid down my racket for a few years to try to grow up, to realize that hitting good shots is not always possible, winning is not always possible, but learning is, even as an old man. There is great joy in being able to share competition, in being able to play. May God bless play. It is play and should lead to laughter, not rage. As I have learned recently from 'The Thrill of the Chaste' frustration shows lack of control and the urge to take something that you don't deserve. I want to earn my play and deserve the ability to enjoy play and laugh at myself and with others.

So life is poetry. I think that poetry is so important, physically and spiritually and emotionally. I have learned and been cured by poetry, especially Dante's, but other poets have helped me to enjoy poetry more and more and be able to get more and more from it. My mother just sent me a poem by William Carlos Williams which she says is holds the best definition in words that she knows:

It is difficult
To get the news from poems
Yet men die miserably every day
For lack
Of what is found there.

Yes, poetry is worth the effort it takes to read it and worth the effort it takes to write it. It is not fluff that is nonessential to life. God is poetry and, of course, the best poet ever- poet just comes from the Greek word for creator, one who makes (God is the Creator.). May God continue to teach and heal me through poetry. May I learn to play games with love and with humor that is unifying, not the frustration of separation that I have known in my desire to win (to win what? Loneliness, darkness and isolation? Competition is great and enjoyable. It is all in the ability to be involved as Dante learned when he was grilled by St Peter, St James and St John in the heights of Heaven.)