extraction

I'll have a tooth pulled on Tuesday. It has been up and down with the pain, but for my financial, as well as my physical health, I will have it pulled. I can't think root canals, caps, implants. I have to think extractions and, perhaps, eventually false teeth. It is a race for Heaven. I need a million dollar heart, not necessarily a million dollar smile. I need to eat spiritual food. I have to dig deeper and deeper spiritually and mentally. I don't want to live with the flaws and imperfections that I have accepted in myself. I want to open myself up, more and more, to God's Love, so that I can show more charity and be an instrument of God's Grace. This is the effort which I must make now.

Lord Help me. It is hard for me to die to myself. I want to keep these things which keep me away from God because they are 'part of me', but I can open up and get rid of these shadows. I will be happier and more useful to God. I want to push to become a more useful instrument in God's Hands. I need to get my teeth into God's Food for His Love.

prayer

Prayer is such a lovely activity. I think that it can also be draining, but it is so active and so giving. It is an activity that touches people so deeply. We need prayer in and for all of our activities. I am just beginning to make room for prayer, for Rosaries in my life again (and the Mass has come into my life again, the greatest of prayers.)

Climbing the ladder

I have watched some people at work climb the workplace ladder. It is a scary thing to me.: They get blinders on. They lose sight of all of the people around them. They grab what they can from more skilled people: then when they realize those 'mentors'' limitations they downgrade them and seem to forget that they sat at their feet learning for awhile. It is a world about ME and ME is a sad world.

A friend just told me today about moving through the ranks of the Boy Scouts. There, one is expected to share and help while he is moving up.

Then, of course, there is the spiritual ladder. Here the ultimate goal is charity. So the higher up the ladder one gets, the more loving one gets, the more Godlike, the more Christlike. This life is the happiest life on earth for neighbor and self and, yes, the only True life after death. May we all climb Jacob's Ladder to the Emporium where the Trinity is present to all and the Blessed Mother worships the Trinity with the rest of the Saints.

The Assumption

So it is written in the church bulletin:

The 5:30PM Mass will be celebrated according to the
Latin Tridentine Rite for
which Pope Benedict XVIth has given world wide
approval for all priests to
celebrate the Liturgy of St. Gregory the Great codified
by the Council of Trent.

This is heart warming and hopeful, but there is no doubt the battle waged against this Mass will begin again; The battle that was waged in the Council of Vatican II; The battle that Paul VI pushed from Rome and Catholic followed through on on the parish level. The battle that successfully banished the Tridentine Mass from most Latin Rite Catholic Churches until this year when Pope Benedict reopened the doors for the Mass, again. Christ is the Center of the Church. He can never be removed from the Heart of His Church, but that doesn't mean that people will not try to dispose him, consciously or unconsciously. Of course, Satan is continuously, desperately spurring all to turn on Christ.

Still on this feast of the Blessed Mother Mother's Assumption there is much to be thankful for and to take hope in. It is nice for me to have a parish to fulfill my obligation to attend Mass on this Holy Day. I look to St Pius V to St. Gregory the Great to St John to St. Joseph and to the Blessed Mother to nourish me an prepare me for what lies ahead. Laus tibi Christe!

Objectivifying

How many things let human beings objectivify? Of course, sex outside of marriage, but, too, sex within marriage. (Marriage is not just a 'ticket' to sex. If love is not foremost and God is not part of a tripartnership in marriage, then it is easy to objective one's spouse; put sex first and lose love being the driving force in marriage. Making love can be part of every activity in marriage. Unfortunately, in American society 'making love' has become solely attached to sex.). Then there is the workplace where often other workers become competition and mere objects to 'beat' up or down as people strive for the 'top' ( The stories that I've heard about the cutthroat competitions on news programs is scary. These friendly faces that bring many trivial things into people's homes appear to be tramping over each others to be one of the friendly face); Also, people's lives become filled with real objects which take the place of human relationships--'He who has the most objects when he dies wins.' Wins what a place in the depths of Hell?

Relationships with God and people are most important in our short lives. We all have gifts from God, but how easy it is to focus on what our neighbors have or don't have and lose sight of the beating heart and desperate soul, first, of ourselves and, then, of our neighbor. Love God and your neighbor and all things will be added onto you. It is our recipe for peace in our lives. Thank you, God.

'Thrill of the Chaste'

It is time for me to tip my hat to the book 'The Thrill of the Chaste' by Dawn Eden. I was at the Chesterton Conference and the book and its author were on the program. I gazed at the book for about 15 minutes wondering if I should buy it, thinking 'What could I get from it?' Then I bought it for my daughter, Katie, 25. She is a single woman, if not singular. She fit the reader which the book seemed to be aiming at. I thought I might read it before I sent it to Katie. I brought my cousin and her husband to hear Dawn Eden speak. It was rather a typical conversion talk except that Ms. Eden laughed a lot and many members of the audience seemed to be part of a cheering section and in the question period asked leading question to get Ms. Eden to instruct the audience. I was a bit disappointed, but quizzical.

A man at the book table when I had bought 'The Thrill of the Chaste' said to me. 'It is a great book. I read it, but was very disappointed that my daughters would not.' I happened to see Ms Eden in the lobby later and waited for her to be free. She signed my book to my daughter and in a quick exchanged said that I should get spiritual guidance. I had been a rather isolated Catholic for quite awhile, but I left Ms. Eden with a Miraculous Medal and my signed book and a tortured hunger. The Conference was what I needed. I have read Chesterton's 'Lepanto' and some great sketches on famous people, but it is 'The Thrill of the Chaste' which has become my spiritual guide. It is one of the few books that I have read more than once. I am on my fourth reading and beginning to get it, a little. I have underlined many parts, written on the covers and recommended it to others. It is no longer suitable for a gift for my daughter. It has been God's Gift to me and has put me firmly on Mi Camino to God, again. It is because of this book and 'The Dawn Patrol' blog that I started this blog with my son's help.

Over the past six years I have traveled through Dante's 'Divine Comedy about six times, knowing each time that I finished that I was a bit more prepared to read this great work. This book will be on my reading list for the rest of my life. Now beside this classic is 'The Thrill of the Chaste'. It is a spiritual journey like that of Dante's. Dante said that he would write the greatest love story ever well before he wrote it. Beatrice is suppose to be his love, but really it is God to Whom he goes to place his love. In a way Ms. Eden's book is a love story to her husband, but, ultimately, it is a love story like Dante's about her journey to God. It is God's Love that lasts forever. It is God's love that can fill our hunger like the woman at the well which Ms. Eden writes about. I am slowly beginning to drink at this well.

I suppose that people only 'objectify' others when they have objectified themselves (a term used in Ms. Eden's book). This is what it is like in the depths of Dante's Hell, though sins of incontinence, which includes sexual sins, are in the circle of lust in upper Hell. Still 'objectifying', making all beings objects which are for the feeding of self, is clearly seen in Lower Hell. In these depths it is a place where everything is heavy, where the pressure from Upper Hell can be felt in the Italian words of Dante and in the surrounding landscape of monsters, rock cliffs and ice which contains sinners frozen totally and in varying degrees of exposure. There is little sacred here outside of the souls created by God who have chosen to turn from God and His Love and God's order and Justice. This is close to life on earth of the those who have chosen to freeze themselves and others in Ms. Eden's world often with the drug of sex, though that is not the real reason, which is the need to break through loneliness to love. Ms. Eden's book shows people how to unfreeze their hearts. It is interlaced with spiritual guidance and wisdom gained from agonizing failures to fine love in the world and from the flesh.

This is a book for anyone looking to fill that God-shaped vacuum inside. It is a book that can be studied by the pilgrim to God. It is a book that can replace agony with humor. Remember all love is Divine Comedy. I hope to learn more of the laughter of Ms. Eden (and GK Chesterton) which was a large part of her talk. May we all laugh with God for the salvation of souls.

I will continue walking through this book until it falls apart (or comes totally together) in content or pages. So far journeying through it has only given me a deeper understanding of myself, others (men and women in different ways) and a life closer to God. Now I weave towards a life closer to my wife and four children. My children are adults, so my relationship with them is changing. My life has changed emotionally since realizing my inability to deal with my father's death at age 14,. I have received much help dealing with his death over the last two plus years, so I am changing and, so, my way of relating changes, and, thus, my relationships. But one thing is that as I change others change, too, or put me behind them. Change causes change, insight leads to insight, growth leads to growth. This is not often pleasant or easy for people, but burying pain is far more destructive. All things are possible with God. May the Saints and the Blessed Mother bless us all.

I suppose, ultimately, that 'The Thrill of the Chaste' has grabbed me and led me is because it is about a spiritual journey with thrilling spiritual messages. It puts men and women on equal footing in this spiritual journey to God and gives insight into a woman's struggles in this journey. It is about spiritual union with God and giving thanks for all that God has given to us and, at the same time, trying always to just do His Will while having hope that certain things will happen. Oh, love and paradoxes. God bless us.

Christ's Church is here 'til the End of Time

In Dante's 'Divine Comedy' there is a procession at the top of Mount Purgatory which is the natural Paradise where Man was to live without sin, but with Original Sin it is the Garden from which Man was cast out. In this procession the Chariot, pulled by the Griffin (Christ), represents the Church. The Chariot is surrounded by the Cardinal virtues and the Theological virtues. Dante wrote his masterpiece in Italian, so instead of trusting to a translation I will kneel before a commentary by my friends professors Aldo Bernardo and Anthony Pelligrini from their recently reissued work 'Companion to Dante's DIVINE COMEDY'. These excerpts come from canots 32 and 33 of Purgatory:

Canto XXXII (commentary): By asking Dante not to stare too fixedly at Beatrice, the Virtues remind him that Revelation cannot be grasped directly, but must be seen through its manifestation in the Church. The procession now begins to march back toward the East, from which it had come. Thus would the Church have peacefully returned to its abode, were it not for the drama of the Fall. The several tableaux following the outcry of Adam's name seek to portay the ramifications of man's original sin. The temporal tree of Law (or knowledge of good and evil) provides the focus for all the tableaux. The bare tree does not give signs of life until the chariot is securely fastened to it by the griffin. Only in the alliance of Church and State can the human race enjoy perfect peace, symbolized by Dante's dropping into a tranquil sleep.

When the sleeper awakens, Christ and the Scriptures are no longer on earth, having left behind as official representative the Church, with Revelation as guide accompanied by her handmaidens, the seven Virtues. The tableaux that follow epitomize the vicissitudes of the Church, which Beatrice asks Dante to record for the benefit of mankind. The attack upon the tree and the chariot by the eagle represents the persecution of the Christians by the early Roman emperors. The repulsed attack by the fox symbolized the attempts of heresy to undermine the Church from within and the role of Revelation in warding off such inroads. The eagle's subsequent return and covering of the chariot with its feathers recalls the Emperor Constantine's so-called donation to the Church, which for Dante marked the beginning of the Church's usurping temporal powers. The attack upon the chariot by the dragon stands for Satan's success in producing the great schism which divided the Church, Wast and West. With the assumption of temporal possessions by the Church, corruption followed, as symbolized by the further covering of feathers which finally engulfed the entire chariot. The seven monstrous heads that sprout at key points on the chariot represent the seven captial vices which infected the Church following its assumption of temporal powers. the closing scene of the unbridled harlot and the passionate giant dramatizes the illicit relations, in Dante's own day, between the Papacy and the House of France.

The soul on its way to salvation has thus been shown how seriously mankind has thwarted God's plan. Had man not been so proud, he could have enjoyed full membership in the original procession. Confusing temporal and spiritual values, he perversely chooses rather to test his own powers of self-reliance.

Canto XXXIII (commentary): the symbolic words and actions of Beatrice at the beginning of this canto define even more clearly her role as Revelation. In the hands of sinners and heathens, the Church, like Christ, may seem to depart for short periods of time, but it is destined always to return in ever greater glory. Thus, even while the Church is in the worst possible state, as was portrayed at the end of the previous canto, Revelation attended by the seven Virutes is still capable of escorting a soul on the road to salvation.

If the Mass is the Heart of the Church, which it must be since it is the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ as given to His Church by Christ, and if the Tridentine Mass was/is the True Mass in the Latin Rite and was exiled from the Church for about 40 years, still the Church could not be destroyed, for She is here for all time and still 'Revelation attended by the seven Virtues is still capable of escorting a soul on the road to salvation.' Souls have still been put on this road to salvation even during the time of the exile of the True Mass. Now we celebrate the return of the Sacrifice of Christ on the Altar. Christ Rose from the Dead for our salvation. The Sacrifice of the Mass is brought back for our salvation. Deo Gratias. As imperfect as man is God never seems to give up on us. May we continually take advantage of God's Mercy, even to our own salvation and everlasting glory with God in heaven.

Christ's Church is here 'til the End of Time

recovering and covering

A week ago tomorrow, Sunday, at 2:00 AM I awoke with a terrible headache. This had not been the first headache that I'd had. I had been having headaches every weekend since I had taken my trip out to Minneapolis for the Chesterton Conference, June 10th. I'd had a headache in Minneapolis for a couple of days when I'd arrived out there before things became all right. I had resolved before I left Minneapolis to do go to the doctor's when I returned to discover the reason for these headaches, but I hadn't done anything about them yet, as of Sunday. July 29th.

That headache on July 29th got very bad. I didn't want to take aspirin because I was going to receive Holy Communion and I didn't like to take anything, but water after midnight Saturday (This was the way that I was taught to prepare for Holy Communion.). But at about 5:00 AM I took some aspirin without gaining any relief. I left for Mass at 8:00 AM. As I cross the Chenango River I realized that I wasn't going to make it anywhere without vomiting, so I parked along the River after I had crossed the River, walked down to the River's shore and threw up the aspirin and water that I had taken. My head was still throbbing, but I knew that I could hold down Holy Communion now, at least go to Mass, so I went to Mass. I was in great pain, but I received Holy Communion. Jesus could only help me. After Church I cancelled by Wendy's Sunday luncheon and tried to rest. I called in sick to work at about 6:00 PM.

I made a doctor's appointment on Monday for Wednesday. On Monday evening I was talking with my second daughter. She looked at me and said, 'Oh, you are getting those caffeine withdraw headaches.'

I responded, "What?'

'I have gotten them. I don't like to drink coffee, but I have to drink it now with my job, four cups a day. Yeah, Gran, has gotten those bad headaches when she has stopped drinking coffee, too.'

That was it!!! My daughter had diagnosed my problem in such an offhanded way that it was startling. I had been trying to think what I had been doing differently on weekends: It was not drinking coffee. I had not been a coffee drinker until several months ago. I had drunk coffee for short periods at times and, perhaps, I had gotten headaches when I stopped at times, but I never associated them with coffee intake or notake. I had become a working coffee taker several months ago. I made no bones about it. I was drinking coffee for the caffeine, two or three cups a night when I was working, and it gave me a boost. I didn't care if I drained the dregs of a pot that most people would toss. I was not a tasteful drinker, I was a caffeine desirer. Coffee with some sugar was great. Now I realized that I was a user and that I was going through withdraw every weekend. The mystery had been solve. Thank you, Libby. Deo Gratias!! Diagnosis in passing, so simple, so obvious, so thankful was I to have an answer to my problem of weekend headaches, weekend agony.

I have been watching a friend's dog, Zoe, during this last week. She has become my shadow, so loyal, so watchful. It has been nice to have another being be so concern about my whereabouts, if not my well being, but a little oppressive at times. Still, this little dog has taught me a lot. God make her. God has blessed me with her. She leaves today. She has been a constant companion over the last week. I have daily tossed sticks and rocks which she has swum after in the river to try to pay her back for her loyalty. My goal was to get her tired, but her energy is greater than mine. Well, Welcome to August.